Self-Leadership Isn’t a Buzzword, It’s a Life Skill (Here’s How to Build It)
Isn't it funny how as kids we come up with ideas and concepts and then either get told they’re uncool (or convince ourselves they are) and we drop them?
I literally launched a YouTube channel 15 years ago and was told it was “cringe.” So I took it down.
Now? I wish I’d had the resilience to keep going. The idea of building a community and expressing myself like that? Pretty smart. Pretty intuitive. And definitely ahead of my time.
One of those concepts that’s circled back in my adult life is something I called “Future Me.”
Back when I was heartbroken, got a bad grade, or felt left out of friendship circles—I invented my own support system.
To be fully honest, it was the Future Cameron Diaz. I was obsessed with her. Her style, her confidence, her light-heartedness. So every time something felt hard, I’d ask:
“What would Cameron Diaz do?”
Yes, this was 16-year-old me sitting in Tyrol imagining how a Hollywood star would handle things. Looking back, I’m honestly proud. That was self-leadership. That was Future Me thinking. I just didn’t have the words for it yet.
Fast forward to this year, during cyclone Alfred when we had no power or internet, I sat with my journal and let my mind wander. And what came through? A challenge:
We need 66 days to build a new habit. What if, for 66 days, I didn’t just work on one habit, but showed up as a completely upgraded version of myself?
So I did. I committed to 66 days of making every single decision through the lens of the Future Mimi.
And that challenge changed everything.
What Is Self-Leadership (Really)?
Self-leadership isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s not about being perfect or productive 24/7.
It’s about being able to lead yourself—especially when things feel uncertain, messy, or emotional.
It’s the ability to:
Hold space for your emotions without being ruled by them
Make decisions that reflect your values, not your fears
Respond rather than react
Show up for yourself, even when no one is watching
It’s emotional maturity. It’s self-trust. It’s radical responsibility.
And no—it doesn’t mean you never ask for help. It means you know when to ask, and who to ask. It means you have your own back.
What It Looks Like Day-to-Day
Self-leadership is:
Not ghosting your goals when motivation fades
Not spiralling because someone else disapproves
Following through on what you said you’d do
Letting your future self have a say in today’s choices
Sticking to the longterm plan rather than to the season or mood
It’s subtle. But powerful.
3 Habits to Strengthen Your Self-Leadership
Check in before checking out
When you’re triggered, instead of escaping (scrolling, venting, spiralling), try asking:
What am I feeling right now?
What do I need?
What do I want to choose next?
Protect your boundaries, even from yourself
Self-leadership includes not letting your people-pleaser run the show. Set limits, communicate clearly, and honour your own needs. Even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it means you have to disappoint others. It will be sustainable, in the long run.
Speak to yourself like someone you trust
Your inner dialogue becomes your outer choices. Start shifting the way you speak to yourself:
From "Why am I like this?" to "What’s coming up for me right now?"
From "I should’ve known better" to "I’m learning."
How Coaching Supports Self-Leadership
Self-leadership isn’t a one-time decision. It’s a daily practice.
And the truth? Most of us weren’t taught how to do this on our own.
That’s where coaching comes in.
Inside a coaching container, you:
Learn to pause and respond consciously
Get clear on your personal values and direction
Unlearn patterns that keep you stuck
Rebuild self-trust one aligned choice at a time
It’s not about fixing you, it’s about helping you lead yourself through whatever comes up next.
You don’t need to be perfect (surely Cameron isn’t, right :)). But you can’t get better without practicing, and this is why it is so crucial to get started.
That’s self-leadership. And that’s where real transformation begins.
Want to explore what this could look like in your life?
Coaching might be your next step. You can read more about how I work here.
With love, Mimi
