3 common blocks to clarity (and how to gently move through them)

Let’s be honest. We all want clarity. The kind that feels like a full-body yes. The kind that quiets the overthinking and gives you something to move toward.

We want it for different reasons. For me, it often comes from a fear of wasting time, time that feels more valuable than money. I want to know I’m on the right track before I move, so I tend to stay in the comfortable and controllable. But life isn’t that simple.

We live in a world full of options.

We can travel anywhere. Change careers. Build businesses overnight with AI. Swipe our way to a soulmate. It’s exciting, yes. But also overwhelming. With that many options, how do we choose?

What often happens is that we don’t.

We stare at decisions for days, sometimes months, paralysed in a loop of “what if I choose wrong?”

I’ve been there too , and actually, I’m in that place again right now (more on that one day). But I want to take you back to a moment that really shaped how I think about clarity today.

When I was asked to manage a dive-shop on a remote island

Back in 2019, I was travelling through Southeast Asia when I was offered to take over a dive shop on a remote island in Malaysia. They wanted me to manage a new diving business for European clients. Dream, right?

No roads. Open-air kitchen and office. Daily scuba diving. Sea views everywhere. And a team that trusted me to help build something from scratch.

They gave me time to decide, but each time they gently followed up, I felt heavier. I didn’t know why — it sounded like everything I wanted. But deep down, I felt torn. Saying yes meant saying no to a dozen other things. And I wasn’t sure I was ready for what that would mean.

Each morning I woke up hoping for clarity. I felt the weight of indecision on my chest. I was trying to be responsible. To make a decision that I could live with, and explain to others. So I started testing out tools and techniques. And one day, it clicked.

The decision had been in me all along.

It just needed space to rise to the surface.

That moment taught me something important:

It’s not clarity we lack. It’s safety.

When we feel stuck, overwhelmed, or confused, it’s often our nervous system asking for regulation, not another pros and cons list. (This was actually the first time I started meditating, just to calm myself down.)

So let me walk you through three clarity blocks I’ve experienced personally, and now see all the time in my coaching sessions, plus what helped me move through them:

1. Fear of Regret

I wanted to be sure I wouldn’t regret my decision.

Moving to a remote island felt like such a bold, exotic move. I knew if I said yes, I probably wouldn’t back out two months later. What would people say? The ones who already thought I was a bit “out there”?

At the same time, this was a once-in-a-lifetime chance. A career in the underwater world I was falling in love with. A chance for adventure. For someone to believe in me. For something completely different.

I feared regretting either choice. And trying to regret-proof your life? It doesn’t work.

So I asked myself:

What would be worse, trying and it not working, or never trying and always wondering?

Tool: Worst-case journaling. Write out the worst-case scenario. Then ask yourself, “And then what?” Keep going until you realise that most outcomes are manageable, some even reversible (if you let your ego take a break).

2. Waiting for Certainty

I kept waiting for a sign.

The perfect contract. A love story to go with it. Something to tell me, “This is right.” I wanted proof that everything would work out.

But here’s the thing:

Clarity comes after action, not before.

We wait for confidence, when what we really need is courage.

Tool: Take micro action. Just one step. Book the call. Write the email. Ask the question. See how it feels. Clarity often shows up through motion.

3. Seeking External Validation

This one hit me hard.

I realised a lot of my anxiety came from worrying what my family would think. They had given me everything. They had just helped me through my Master’s degree at a private university. What would they say if I put “Dive Master” next on my CV?

I was terrified to tell them. But one day, I ripped off the band-aid and sent them a voice note explaining the whole thing.

To my surprise (or maybe not?) they were supportive.

They just said, “We want you to be happy.”

We often build up imaginary conversations in our heads. But the real fear is this: if everyone stopped having opinions, would you know what you actually want?

Tool: Try the intuitive yes/no signals exercise from the Clarity Workbook. Tune into your body. Where do you feel a yes? Where do you feel resistance? Your body knows more than you think.

So what did I do?

I said no to the dream job.

I didn’t end up living on a remote island long-term.

And here’s why. One quiet moment, standing by the ocean, wind in my face, finally grounded, the “bing” came. That moment of full-body clarity.

I loved diving. I loved the island. But I also loved riding my bike. Catching up with friends over a glass of wine. Writing from a library. Spontaneous adventures. A bath. A yoga class. Celebrating birthdays. Freedom. Flexibility. City life. Online shopping.

And I realised I wasn’t ready to trade all of that for just one thing, even if it was amazing.

So I found another way to love diving.

And life? It unfolded beautifully.

A few months later I entered New Zealand and met my now husband. A few months after that, the pandemic hit. Borders closed. Travel was banned. I imagined myself stuck on that island, longing for connection and movement.

Sometimes the moment of clarity doesn’t feel like a lightning bolt.

It feels like finally trusting what you already know.

And if that’s where you are, if you’re carrying a decision and not sure how to access your clarity, come join me on Patreon, where I share monthly tools to build clarity and self-trust. Or book a 1:1 Breakthrough Session with me and we’ll untangle it together.

With love,

Mimi